Something seems off to me...

We all know how much I love to play pretend so play along with me. I'm on the board walk in the morning trying to find breakfast before my sisters cheer competition and come a crossed a little funnel cake and coffee shop. Order my meal and decide to get a mango lemonade when suddenly I see this. Not Sure if I want brown lemonade:p

You're Welcome
~Soda Jerk

Taylor's Tonics Gingerbread House sparkler

      Take a trip with me readers, its Christmas time, there's a thick layer of snow outside your window and your grandma is in the kitchen making gingerbread cookies. The smell wafts through the house and sends you floating through the air to the kitchen like a character in one of those old cartoons. For many of you this is probably similar to your favorite childhood memories and if you are looking to recapture that childhood memory through the taste of a soda this is NOT the soda for you. I repeat, DO NOT DRINK THIS SODA. Never in my life have I ever tasted something as revolting as this soda. The taste of this is so strong and overpowering that it gave me a horrible headache. There is just to much happening in this soda for it to be enjoyable. It does taste like a piece of gingerbread which is the goal of the soda damn it is just to much, I don't think I can say that enough.

      I despise this soda. There is no way you could get me to drink this ever again without throwing huge sums of money at me or paying for my college tuition. I couldn't stand to take more than four sips of this and even that left me with a headache and an up set stomach. This is a soda that I would suggest giving to your evil swim coach or your horrible history teacher as a gift, you only want to give this soda to people  you don't like. And even then it might be a little extreme! All though they might enjoy the bottle I know I did! Heck its the whole reason I bought it, and trust me I learned my lesson about not judging a book by its cover!

      While I think this goes with out saying my overall rating of this soda is 1 bottle cap. The soda was horrible and, according to my dad who also tried the soda, the best part of the soda was my face when I first tried it. I'm warning you, don't try this. Just take my word for it. I took one for the team here and this is your warning unless you like being sick just don't do it.

You're Welcome.

~Soda Jerk

The Rating Scale.

      Alright readers help me out with something real quick will ya? Pretend that your looking for a review of something, say a video game, and you go to look at what it was rated and it says a 4/5 which gets you excited that it got a decent rating but then you realize that EVERY game has a 4/5 rating because the person running the site thinks all of the games are "good". Well yeah they might be good but is one of those games a little better than the others? You'll never know unless you buy the game which leaves you just as clueless as you where before the review only now your down half and hour and are more frustrated.

      I'm sure you're wondering what this has to do with soda right? Well I have had this exact situation happen to me more than once and it is one of my biggest issues when it comes to review blogs. So in order to avoid this on my blog I have come up with a 1-100 bottle cap rating system. Its very simple and it makes ranking and understanding the ranks much easier for you and me. 

      

The Scale:

0-20 bottle caps: This means that the drink is absolutely horrible and I couldn't even bring my self to finish it because it was so bad. If a drink gets this rating it means that I had to throw it away after a few sips and had to get another soda just to get the taste out of my mouth. This would be a 1 on a 1 out of 5 scale

21-40 bottle caps: This means that the drink was just plain bad. I finished the soda but I didn't enjoy it. I wouldn't get this soda ever again and wouldn't suggest it to anyone I liked. This would be a 2 on a 1 out of 5 scale.

41-60 bottle caps: This means that the drink was alright. It didn't blow me away but it didn't disgust me either. This soda wouldn't be my first choice of drink but I would drink it if it was the only option or I was really really in the mood for whatever the flavor is. I might suggest this drink to someone if I knew that they where into that type of flavor or drink. This would be a 3 on a 1 out of 5 scale.

61-80 bottle caps: This means that the drink is good. It made its impression on me and I thoroughly liked it. I would most likely get another one of these sodas in the future and i would suggest this soda to my friends, family, and yes even you the reader. This would be a 4 on a 1 out of 5 scale.

81-100 bottle caps: This means that this drink blew me away! If a soda gets this rating it means that I died a little bit on the inside when I finished the drink and wanted to go back and get another one. This is the soda I would call you about at 3am. This would be a 5 on a 5 out of 5 scale.

      Lets play another game real quick alright? Lets say I get there sodas, Sodas A, B, and C. All of these sodas where good so they would fit in the 61-80 bottle cap range, but soda B was better than A and A was better than C. In a case like this The ratings would be soda B is 80, soda A is 75 and soda C is 63. Which means that the sodas will get an initial rating over all and then they will get a rating in there individual category. If you don't get it now you will in time. Trust me.

You're Welcome

~Soda Jerk 

Brain Wash soda

   

      Don't you just love the feeling of getting punched it the mouth! Yeah none of us do, unless it comes from a drink. Brain Wash definitely gives you a pleasant shock when you drink it. It has a so sour its sweet taste to it and it reminds me of a red smartie. The flavor of it is so wonderfully strong that if you planned on eating something with it I would only suggest drinking it with something that also has a strong flavor as well. 

      While I did enjoy this drink quite a bit I wouldn't say I was blown away by it and i don't think I would get it again simply because it wasn't everything I thought it would be. And it left me feeling jittery for hours after I drank it even though it is not an energy drink. Also I didn't like the fact that it turned my lips and skin a bright red color but the bottle does say "Better red than dead". The best part of this soda was the bottle which is covered in "subliminal messages" about how there soda will, "Get rid of all the garbage they've been dumping in your mind" and any soda that says it can get rid of all the stuff I crammed in my head for finals is worth a shot!

      My over all rating of this soda is a respectable 55. The soda is good but I don't think I would get it again unless it was my only option. Unfortunately I can't say that this soda has brain washed me in to becoming  a fan.

You're Welcome.

~ Soda Jerk

Welcome to your local Dime Store, I will be your Soda Jerk.

Have you ever had a drink that was so unbelievably awful that you where convinced that whoever makes it is only doing it as a cruel joke on the unsuspecting public and after you take that initial sip you realize that the guy next to you is laughing his ass off because he knew just how awful the drink was and he was just waiting there for some poor sap like you to come along and try to drink the damn thing? Or have you had a drink so freaking amazing that at 3:00am you had to get on the phone with everyone that you knew just to tell them that they have to go out right then to get it? Well if you haven't I have, and because of that experience I decided I would become the unofficial tour guide for the confusing world of soda. I will try anything and everything, from the normal and plain, to the gross out sodas, to the "who the hell came up with this?!" sodas.

I'm going to keep my ratings very simple for those of you who might have a difficult time following the more complex stuff. I'm gonna give you a description of the taste and texture of the drink, what I thought of it, why I chose the soda, and finally the over all rating of the soda. Nice and simple.

 Your welcome.

~The Soda Jerk